How my mind works

It's been going on for month's, day's, hour's, second's now

the flush sensation of time passing, while thought's are processed and carried throughout click's of a keyboard, sudden smile's at a witty remark by the other window preceding her's.. but i don't stray and come back instantly

emotions bleed deep on the screen where many would fail to notice that this other human being is actually opening up the bruised and battered so called heart the previous left to die

She explains shes afraid of being let down again, having her soul shattered and worries about picking up the sharp pieces again, while i too understand the grief that' that certain moment has caused because I've been down this path before.

I'm convinced she's worth exploring.


First meeting; short, subtle, comfortable
Second meeting; comfortable, relaxing, reassuring
Recent encounter; Undisclosed location, she meet's me in the lobby as i arrive. We head in the elevator my hair in a mess, our Lip's moist, her hair in a pony tail, eyes a deep color of emotion which drove me to lean in; Ding. our floor.

hesitate to exit as i courteously allow her to exit, i follow watching her... as she step's; I'm seduced now.

Ring. The old abused apt door open's, i follow locking the door behind me, there is a scent of lavish baked good in the air teasing my bowel's: as if thanksgiving hadn't treated me well earlier. Continue, as i remove my coat i whisper "where can i place this" she places it elsewhere being ever so careful, we sit in the living room; now alone, I'm taken by her ever grasping glances over to me talking to my mind w/o word's.

12...
Conversation's, Joke's
1...
the eventual physical contact, heart beating faster, mind racing, complete security
2...
complete relaxation, hormones indulging, but nothing happens, nothing we cant handle, nothing spoken, everything revealed, im glad we can just speak & connect with out anything more yet.

time of departure.. late. as i walk in the smiting cold holding her hand trying to keep her as warm as i can' as i do not wish her to be sick, we laugh out loud about randomness at the crazy hour of the morning,

{Paused Moment in time; I am filled with thought's of sincere happiness, genuine childlike emotions that add fuel to the fire she's lit in my soul as i have her's. i have taken a mental snap shot of this day as i wish to never forget it. adding it to my collections of memories, but what makes this moment special? what drives me to believe this is not going to be forgotten like the rest?... Realization is the difference}

As we walk down the street, i can sense that she is mine and i am her's, something many think they have but fail to understand it doesn't exist but I've actually proven the contrary of my own word's, thought's and beliefs.
time to leave

Now goodbye's are uttered as i grasp her hands and feel her lip's against mine knowing she wishes it never end's and i don't have to go; this is a feeling I'm not used to. I'm used to being cared for in some way but never to this level.
Grateful, i wont take this for granted.

as i release her and she walk's inside i turn around as to capture any remaining details of her ever lasting smile & to make sure she makes it inside safely.

Now i walk.
the hour & a half ride home is met with the thought's of the evening making everyone around me, the bum sleeping at the other end, the couple kissing next to me, the work tired man sleeping adjacent to me disappear.. why? because she is on my mind. making my predictions come true... she is my world.. she's all i see.